Question:
We have a daughter (Ellen) who is 19 months old. She slept well and through
the night from 9 weeks old (about 11 - 12 hours a night) but since December
she has had severe problems with sleep resulting in her waking now 2 - 3
times a night. We saw a consultant paediatrician who suggested we follow a
course of "sleep management" in which we were to wake her before she woke
herself as we knew roughly at what times she would awaken. This seemed to
help for a short while but then ceased to have effect. We have recently
been attending sessions by a Cranial Osteopath who has put Ellen's disorder
down to one of two things either (a) lung inefficiency - she stops breathing
in her sleep, or (b) extended jet lag from our holiday to the US at
Christmas! These sessions worked well but the last week has got
progressively worse again and we are experiencing her waking 2 - 3 times a
night in a very distressed and unhappy state. We have altered her routine
during the day and night and have tried many different methods of trying to
overcome this but as yet nothing has worked successfully for more than 2 - 3
nights.
We are becoming increasingly anxious to find a cure for both our and more
importantly Ellen's sake, we would gratefully appreciate any guidance or
suggestions to help us with her condition.
Answer:
That she slept so well before so early is what's unusual about this picture.
Both of mine would awaken two to three times per night until they were three
years of age.
I'm certain you mean well, but by INCREASING the attention when the
child awakens, it only increases the distress when you are not there. The
hardest thing (but most important) thing to do is to not reinforce the
behavior. Here's what we would do with our two:
Bedtime routine - Go through a definite routine to put the child to sleep.
Bath, Story, Song, etc. All leading upto putting the child asleep.
When the child awakens - Do NOT immediately pick up the child. Check to be
certain there are no obvious problems (wet diapers, etc.). Then go through
a SHORT version of the bedtime routine (a quick song). Expect the child to
decide that was NOT enough attention.
If the child is VERY upset - Tough call. Sometimes we would pick up our
kids - but we would only rarely leave the bedroom. This allowed us to
quickly start the short bedtime routine to get the child settled.
It takes about a month of constant and consistent work. This only works if
both parents do the same thing. It does work. It is not cruel. In fact,
it is crueler to NOT do this, since it does not help the child learn some
independance fairly early.
While having sleep studies done at Tulane University medical center in New
Orleans, La. USA I was surprised to find that almost 30 % of the sleep studies
they do are on very young children. I would imagine you might be able to find
such a location in your area or if not coulod contact the sleep center at
Tulane for reference to someone in your area.
