Question:
Any comments regarding a girl, age 7, ready for second grade, above-average
reading skills...? The following "behaviors" have been present since birth:
*strong attachment to mother
*fear of people in costume, including Santa, Disney World characters (This
fear has caused avoidance of Christmas/Easter parties because of the
anticipation of costumed characters...Halloween Festivals at schools are a
nightmare!)
*inability to happily be away from home overnight...and unhappy at home
overnight if the mother is away (The father is a very loving, caring parent
and has problems with her crying when the mother is away.)
*development this past summer of INSOMNIA...at home, away, wherever...fears
being awake when others are asleep...old enough to recognize she is
"different" from peers and worries about it...gets upset if a parents
dozes-off in a recliner if staying "up" with her watching TV until she is
sleepy
*asks, "Why am I like this?"
*apologizes for having trouble falling asleep
*when stressed by costumes or sleep problem will say that her stomach hurts
and makes repeated "uneventful" trips to the bathroom
*may finally doze off LATE and awaken at the slightest movement or
sound...until FINALLY ASLEEP
*does not want to sleep alone in a bed, but does not appear upset when she
awakens in bed alone in the morning
*all her life has been allowed to go to sleep in a parent's bed, or with a
parent with her in her bed
*has a bedroom of her own, with twin beds...has a younger sister who also
has a bedroom with twin beds...younger sister has no sleep problems, or
fears, etc.
*when she has a sleep-over friend spend the night, she cannot get to sleep
in her bedroom...goes to the parent's bed to get to sleep, then worries
about that, and how the friend would feel being alone in her bedroom
*avoids going to events requiring being away from home at night, when she
REALLY WANTS TO BE ABLE TO SUCCESSFULLY DO SO
Answer:
At a Hallowe'en party we went to when my daughter was 3, she made everyone
take their masks off. Fortunately, all were obliging!
Since then, she's made her own masks, spent a lot of time playing in front of
the mirror and she even wore a mask herself last Hallowe'en. I'd recommend
these two activities for your daughter.
Also, you might want to just acknowledge her fear, yes it is scary to have a 6
foot 'bunny rabbit' at a party, yes, it is okay if you don't go near the
bunny/santa/clown. Yes, you can watch the clown from behind the couch. Don't
force her into situations she doesn't want to deal with.
I have to say here, that kids live up to expectations in this regard. If the
mom and dad expect to have this sort of trouble, then it'll probably happen.
If the parents are matter-of-fact about it and treat it as routine and
expected, there might be less of an issue.
Sleep is important, for everyone, mommy's, daddy's, uncle's, everyone. During
the day, you're awake and eating, drinking, learning, loving, playing. During
the night, your body does special things that it doesn't have time for during
the day, body maintenance, healing, etc. It's also the time for your mind to
process all of the things that you saw/heard/did during the day (dreams). Our
bodies were made to sleep to recover from the day before and prepare for the
next day. Most living creatures sleep.
Note that although she feels she's different, everyone is different and even
Mom and Dad don't like to do/are scared of things (fill in whatever here),
everyone has their quirks and eccentricities. In other words, it's normal to
be abnormal. :)
Then ask her what you can do to help. All of you together should be able to
make a plan.
My daughter has a Winnie-the-Pooh who goes by the alias 'Brave-Making-Bear.'
Having him around at night comforts her since he's so familiar (she only
adopted this habit after she got him for her 3rd birthday). It is something
that was logically thought out by her, it was her idea, she has no illusions
that he has magical powers but understands that his comfort is very real - I
think that's why he works so well.
IMO it sounds like your daughter could use some professional
help, maybe she is in early stages of a social phobia or has a type of
anxiety and/or depression disorder? This sort of thing runs in my family
and a lot of the symptoms you are describing sound familiar.
